Untimely Travel Tales - Seattle Edition, Pt. 4

At looooooong last I present to you...

DAY FOUR
If Days One through Three were the beginning of a love affair with Seattle, Day Four was the consummation, because that was the day I was introduced to ... Fremont.

Also known as the Center of the Known Universe, Fremont is a unique Seattle neighborhood that revels in its peculiarity. (The unofficial motto is "De Libertas Quirkas" - or "Freedom to be Peculiar" for the non-Latin speakers.) Public art is absolutely everywhere, and you can spend a very satisfying afternoon rubbernecking your way through the streets. In fact, that's exactly what my handsome host Blake and I did.

Here's a partial list of the neat things we encountered:

• A multitasking signpost pointing visitors toward such random locations as the North Pole, Machu Picchu, Solaris, and Xanadu.
• A huge statue of Lenin salvaged from Slovakia after the fall of Communism.
• The Fremont Troll - a huge concrete beast hiding under the Aurora Bridge with a captured Volkswagen under its huge hand.
• Two large topiary brontosauruses purchased from a children's museum.
• A huge cold war-era rocket attached the corner of a building.

We wandered through a handful of fantastic vintage stores (including the Fremont Vintage Mall - where I bought tiki-style salt and pepper shakers - and Deluxe Junk - with what I later discovered was a Dutch french fry mascot standing outside) and hit Roxy's Deli for some french fries (What can I say? I'm highly suggestible.) and an Irish coffee. Oh, and a hot as hell waiter whom I surreptitiously videotaped so that I'd have a visual reminder of him. Please don't judge me.

We left the Fremonsters behind, and traveled to Gas Works Park. While we were there we saw two bums and a gaggle of nerds beating one another with foam swords. I loved seeing the remnants of the gas light plant, but we had to leave pretty quickly as we were rapidly losing daylight.

As we headed to Kerry Park and its beautiful view of the city, Blake told me about a recent controversy regarding underwater billboards. I was immediately intrigued. Late that August, signs for Ivar's - a local seafood chain - had been found anchored to the bottom of Puget Sound. Supposedly, restaurateur and renowned self-promoter Ivar Haglund had believed submarine travel through the Sound to be inevitable and wanted to get a jump on the competition, submerging the signs back in 1955. A mere week before I arrived on the scene, the folks at Ivar's admitted that the whole thing was a hoax. I don't care. Still neat.

We returned to Blake's apartment where he cooked us dinner, which we unfortunately had to wolf down in order to get to a screening of "An Education" on time. After the movie, we visited a - ahem - lovely little gay bar called The Cuff. The place had fake "stone" wallpaper stapled to the walls, so you can take it from there. After some exhausting rounds of drinking and judging, we left, stopping by Dick's for some late night eats, and no, the irony isn't lost on me.

It was a relatively sedate end to a fantastic trip. Big love to Blake, Charlie, Dean and Brett for introducing me to such an amazing town. I will be back.




Didn't read the other installments? Click here!

Untimely Travel Tales - Seattle Edition, Pt. 3

It's been a long time between drinks, so without further ado I give you...

DAY THREE
On Saturday morning, Blake and I met some of his friends at Coastal Kitchen for brunch. They had enjoyed a raucous evening on a party bus, so they related their scandalous escapades as they ate, much to my simultaneous delight and chagrin. Charlie and Brett (see "Day One") joined us, but sadly they had to sit at the other end of the table, well outside of comfortable chatting distance. We contented ourselves with knowing glances and sarcastic eye-rolls for the duration of the meal.

Afterward the four of us walked to Volunteer Park, climbed the steps of the water tower, and enjoyed the 360 degree view. The change in elevation came along with a considerable drop in temperature, so we didn't stay for very long.

Brett left us to go to work (I honestly forget the reason, but it was something like that), and Blake, Charlie and I caught a bus to Pioneer Square. We purchased tickets to Underground Seattle, but since we had to wait about a half-hour until the next tour, we walked over to the Seattle Public Library. If you want to know why, just do a quick internet search for pictures of it. The design of the building is absolutely phenomenal. Truly something to behold.

We returned to Underground Seattle for our tour. In Seattle's early days, they had lots of problems with mudslides, tides, sewage - you name it. Eventually, the city filled in the downtown streets and essentially buried the first floors of many of the buildings effectively making them basements. (It's a bit more complicated than that, but you get the idea.) Our guide took us through several dark and dripping corridors, cracking jokes as we went. I found the whole thing intriguing, and the other guys were glad they had a visitor in town so that they had an excuse to go on the tour. :D

We walked from Pioneer Square toward Pike Place Market, passing the Lusty Lady on the way. The Lusty Lady was a peep show operating right across the street from the Seattle Art Museum. It shut its doors back in April, another victim of the poor economy. Still, folks in Seattle will always remember the funny phrases on the marquee. When I was there, it read "We Give Raises" on one side with "Look to the Thighs" on the other. Love it.

After a quick Starbucks stop-off across from the market, we hopped a bus for Seattle Center. Once we were there, we walked underneath a huge art installation titled "Olympic Iliad" on our way to the Space Needle. (I typically don't do a lot of touristy stuff, but there are always exceptions, y'know?) After we got Blake's friend's pass confiscated by trying to use it fraudulently (can't blame us for tryin'!), we zoomed upward to the Observation Deck. The view was absolutely breathtaking. The wind whipped past as we peered out over the city. I'm sure it's nice during the day, but the view at night was fantastic.

We were all a bit worn out at this point, so we returned to our respective homesteads for a disco nap and costume change. Once we met up again, we drove to some part of town (I can't remember which) and had dinner at a nice Latin-themed restaurant (I don't remember the name) before heading back to Pike Place for a show at Can Can.

While I can probably describe Can Can itself with relative ease, the shows you can see there defy explanation. The venue itself made me think of a pocket-sized Moulin Rouge. Located underneath the market, the walls are covered with dark red fabric and the air is filled with energetic, accordion-heavy, French music. The atmosphere is cozy, electric and Bohemian. As for the show? Hmm. Let's say it's equal parts dance, circus, performance art and burlesque. For instance, a sexy dance routine would be followed by someone twirling from a rope. A hot piece of ass named Faggedy Randy performed a lap dance dressed as a unicorn followed up by the whole cast dancing in unison to MGMT's "Kids" in plushie costumes. I absolutely loved it. It served as a fabulous way to end the evening.




TO BE CONCLUDED IN PART 4!

Untimely Travel Tales - Seattle Edition, Pt. 2

Since I'm absolutely livid that I just spent a motherfuckinggoddamnshitballs hour dutifully typing a halfway entertaining description of my second day in Seattle that the internet swiftly swallowed whole, this replacement version is going to be very, very brief. In fact, I will be using bullet points, so here goes:

Day Two
- Relaxed on the couch for a bit and soaked up as much info from local travel tomes as possible so that I wouldn't get lost while exploring on my own.
- Wandered around Capitol Hill and the University District, eventually finding myself in a secondhand bookshop called Twice Sold Tales. Unfortunately, there were cats roaming all over the place, so I quickly purchased a well-worn copy of Agatha Christie's The Big Four for $1 and left.
- Met up with my friend Dean who took me to Pike Place Market, which I thoroughly enjoyed.
- Ate fish and chips at Lowell's and caught up with Dean as we looked out over Puget Sound.
- Traveled underneath the market to Post Alley and the infamous Gum Wall, which is exactly what it sounds like. Chewed a couple pieces of gum and contributed to the wall. As luck would have it, "Brian" and "I 'heart' Dean" were already on the wall right next to each other, so I added a dot to the "i" in my name while Dean added an "o" to the end of his.
- Explored Ye Olde Curiosity Shop, ogling oddities, coin-operated contraptions and all sorts of touristy trinkets.
- Purchased a mocha from a cute, nerdy guy at the original Starbucks.
- Visited a magic shop that was far more interesting from the outside than on the inside.
- Bought a silly wind-up toy for my brother from a shop called - appropriately enough - The Wind Up.
- Saw a sign that read: "The Miniature Car Dealer Been Relocate It To Suite 525 Next To Sound View Cafe, Please Visit Us There. Thank You."
- Took us way out of our way to visit a tiki bar called Hula Hula and enjoyed some tiki-themed libations
- Begrudingly dropped Dean off with his boyfriened
- Went to dinner with Blake at a neat gastropub called Smith where I had a shepherd's pie the size of my head.
- Waddled over to Oddfellows Cafe and Pub for more drinks. Fun atmosphere and very cool waitress.
- Got sweaty on the dancefloor at R Place.
- Shuffled home past the ravenous hoardes outside Dick's.
- Purchased a couple more sodas from the Spooky Coke Machine.
- Went to bed.





CONTINUED IN PART 3!

Untimely Travel Tales - Seattle Edition, Pt. 1

Back in November of last year, I took advantage of the "free room and board" invitation of my very good friend Blake and visited the city of Seattle for the first time. This is the first of a handful of blog entries that will feature my reminiscences and memories of the trip accompanied by the videos I shot each day.

Day One - I arrived in the Emerald City just as the sun was setting. My gracious host met me at the airport and whisked me into the city. We caught up with each other as we drove and after a quick costume change, we headed out for some Vietnamese food. (I won't name the restaurant, because (1) I can't remember what the name of it was and (2) it left a lot to be desired.)

Anyway, we met and ate with my friend Charlie and his boyfriend Brett at ... er ... the restaurant that shall not be named, and afterward the four of us walked down to Bleu Bistro for a cocktail. I'm a big fan of dive bars, and I'm especially fond of eclectic, bohemian-style bars with a long drink menu and multiple warnings from the fire marshall, so I liked it very much. All but one of us ordered drinks with dirty names (mine being the Lawn Boy), and we laughed and shot the breeze for a little while.

Sadly, Charlie and Brett had to leave us after only one libation, so Blake and I explored the area a little, walking through Cal Anderson park and ending up at Purr Cocktail Lounge. We had a couple more drinks, chatted, admired the tumbleweeds that rolled through the nearly-empty bar, and then headed back to Blake's apartment. On the way, we passed an art installation called "Oscillating Field" by Dan Corson. As I watched a pair of green lasers move strategically across a "field" of long tubes that looked not unlike large blades of grass, Blake explained that Seattle devotes a portion of public funds to art exhibits throughout the city, which I think is damned cool. (You can read more about it here.)

That was pretty much it for the first day, although I think we might have hit the Spooky Coke Machine for the first time that night. Blake had heard of it before, but he'd never gone looking for it - even though it ended up being mere blocks from his place. I guess it's the kind of thing you forget about until guests come to town. That is, guests who revel in odd, off-beat stuff. Anyway, it's this old Coke machine that features two "mystery" buttons. I hit that thing at least once a day throughout the trip, and I never got the same thing twice.




CONTINUED in PART TWO!

Maria Von Trapp, eat your heart out

You may remember from a previous post that I have a signed Playbill from [title of show] in a shadowbox on my bedroom wall. [title of show] was a Broadway musical about two guys writing a musical about two guys writing a musical about two guys--you get the idea. I took myself and my friend Nathan to go see it on my 31st birthday, and I loved it. What really made it great was the tightknit, hilarious cast, which consisted of the aforementioned guys (Hunter and Jeff), two girls (Susan and Heidi) and their accompanist Larry. Playing themselves, they recounted - in song - the creation of the show and how they eventually took it to Broadway. Very meta, no?

Anyway, this is all to say that [title of show] has a blog - appropriately titled [blog] - that they continue to update even though the show closed late last year. They post all sorts of neat stuff, and the video below is one of their recent finds. I found myself smiling stupidly at the computer screen and wishing I could join in, so I couldn't help but share it! Enjoy!