One evening, we took a respite from international tourism and settled down to what proved to be a riotous evening of ... playing board games. Make that one board game: The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Game.
Basically, you try to provide the funniest captions you can to random, captionless New Yorker cartoons that are drawn from a deck as your token reaches certain spaces on a board. The funnier you are, the more quickly you reach the end.
Now, in the interest of full disclosure, my friends and I were consuming whiskey as we played, which probably upped the hilarity factor. Still, I share with you now my recently rediscovered answer sheet, presented without comment or context.
- "And behold, they reached the last resting place of King Mehem-toast-tep."
- "This is what Betty White was doing five years ago."
- "Who d'ya have to fuck with a carrot nose to get a drink around here?"
- "If I gotta swim with the fishes, I wanna look good doin' it."
- "The cross? Oh, just angling for church sponsorship for the marathon."
- "And as the old millionaire burst into a cloud of dust, he handed his accountant a balloon with a '$' sign on it."
- "Have a nice recovery, Miss Smith. I took all the pills I could find in your medicine cabinet, so you're going to need to stop by the pharmacy."
- "Casual Friday's, guys! Not formal! We wear our tuxes every day of the damn week!"
- "I'm sorry, sir. Our new head chef used to work security for a bank."
- "I know you guys had a rough time during the first movement, but we're gonna go back out there and beat the Boston Philharmonic's ass."
- "Bet you wish you had bought that fall coat now, huh? Idiot."
- "... and in summation, gentlemen, that's how babies are made."
- "Steven Spielberg is vacationing here. That guy's just auditioning."
- "Sales for loincloths have plummeted. It seems, gentlemen, that I'm the only idiot who wears them."
- "Don't you hate being in a cartoon that doesn't lend itself easily to a caption?"
- "Excuse me, sir. Is the bar tender here?"
- "Cute, Earl. Very smooth. Wearing sunglasses but then sitting outside? Very low profile. By the way, I'm a horse."
- "Fuck. The Cherokee have discovered Twitter."
- "Yeah, I've always said I didn't fuck that alien, but I totally fucked that alien."